Dear Sara,
"So, when are you going to try for baby #2?"
I know you hear that question. A lot. And I know the sort of emotions that go along with that question. Sadness. Anger. Bitterness.
It hasn't always been that way. A couple years ago, you answered that question with a smile and the word "soon." Soon. And you believed it. You believed that soon your belly would grow and your life would once again change in that most wonderful of ways.
And then? The months passed. And in spite of your hopes and prayers, you never saw two lines on a pregnancy test.
It's exhausting, isn't it? The way your heart beats a little faster as you wait for results. The way your heart sinks when you see only one line. The way you feel a little bit foolish for letting yourself hope in the first place.
Every one-line result - every dashed hope - etches another fault line upon your heart. And those cracks? Well, that's where the sadness and the anger and the bitterness seep in.
Sara, in the midst of your struggles, it's important to remember.
Remember that God is still on the throne. His plan is still perfect, and He is still working all things for His glory. Even this.
Remember that when you can't change the answer, you can change the question. The question is not "God, why are You making me go through this" but "God, what are You trying to teach me through this?" Your mission on this earth is to become like Christ, who demonstrated humility and obedience in accepting God's will for His life. Submit to God's will, trusting in His plan and purpose for your life.
Remember who you are and whose you are. You are God's child, holy and dearly loved. You belong to the God whose words created the cosmos, whose sacrifice broke the tyranny of death, and whose goodness will prevail. You can rest in Him.
Remember that God is the Author of your life. Your story is different from the story He is writing in the lives of others. Don't compare. Play your part, and play it well.
Remember to hope. Your hope does not hinge upon the circumstances of your life. No, your hope is found in Jesus Christ. In the power of His blood. In the empty tomb. Your hope is a living hope, an eternal hope. So hope. Always hope.
And remember that God is good. The God who you serve is able to open wombs and build families. But even if He does not, He is still good. He is always good.
