Dear Asher

Dear Asher,

Last week we made a big decision. A decision that involved some tears. A decision that separated you from one of your most prized possessions. We made the decision to get rid of your pacifier.

You've been attached to that silly thing since the day you were born. After your first night in the hospital, the nurse brought you back to my room ... with a pacifier in your mouth. I wasn't crazy about the decision. After all, veteran mothers loved to tell me stories about how difficult it was to separate their children from their pacifiers. "It's easier not to let them have a pacifier in the first place," they warned, and the new mother in me took their warning to heart. But when the nurse returned you to my arms after that first night in the hospital, I let my resolve waver. At that moment, I marveled at how darling you looked as your little lips moved the pacifier in and out. For now I would enjoy my newborn; I'd have plenty of time to fight the pacifier battle later.

Since then, you and your pacifier have been inseparable. No matter how you're feeling - tired, shy, hurt - you always ask for your "blankie-paci" (a hybrid term you created for your two favorite things). So last week I knew it was time to bite the bullet; it was time to wage the pacifier war. I knew the battle would not be easily won, so I sat down and discussed the decision with you bribed you. "If you give me your paci," I said, "I'll give you a fish." You agreed, so we picked out three goldfish and threw away your pacifier. You still ask for your pacifier a couple times each day, but guess what? You haven't used it at all! Obviously, I'm relieved - I thought I was in for lots of tears and bedtime tantrums. But I'm also a little sad. Because my little boy is growing up. Because you get a little bigger each day, a little more independent. Sounds silly, right? If you were old enough to understand how sappy this is, I'm sure you would say, "Come on, Mom. It's just a pacifier. It's not like I'm getting married or something." I know we will encounter much bigger milestones in the years ahead. But for now I'm going to hold you tight. Because you are my baby. Even without a pacifier.

Love,
Mommy