Back in December, I felt God speaking to my heart. Maybe "speaking" is the wrong word. There was no booming voice from the clouds, no angels descending from a ray of heavenly light. Just a whispered hint, a soft tug. The suggestion that things could be different.
"You could quit your job and stay home to raise Asher."
It wasn't an order or threat. It was a suggestion, a impossible hint. And I refused to believe it.
Even thinking about staying home seemed foolish. After all, we live on a shoestring as it is; we are up to our ears in student loans. How could we possibly make ends meet on one salary? To be honest, I was mad at God for even hinting at the idea. He knew how much I desired to stay home. He also knew how financially unrealistic, how completely impossible it would be for me to quit my job. Why would He tempt me with something we both knew could never happen?
But the voice didn't go away.
"You could quit your job and stay home to raise Asher."
After a while, I couldn't ignore Him any more. So I prayed. A lot. I talked to God about my desires. I asked Him to give me wisdom. I even told Him that if I didn't have student loans, nothing would stand in the way of me staying home. And you know what? God heard my prayers. He showed up. He filled my life with people who (both knowingly and unknowingly) reaffirmed His message for me. He reminded me of His plan for my life almost every single time I opened the Bible. And He gave me an overwhelming sense of peace - a peace that passes understanding.
So last week, I took a leap of faith. I told my boss and my teammates that I won't be coming back next year. Even though there are several weeks until I am officially done, just telling my boss that I won't be teaching next year made the whole thing seem very real. And exciting. And a little scary. I knew in my heart that I was being obedient to God, but one thing was still unclear in my mind. One very important thing. How in the world was God going to make this work?!
And then yesterday happened.
Yesterday, Will was called into his boss's office for an impromptu meeting ... where his boss gave him a raise. A RAISE ... four days after we announced our plans to follow God without knowing how He was going to provide! Do you want to know the truly incredible part? The part that gives me goosebumps? The part that leaves me laughing at how good and generous and loving our God is? The raise boosted Will's monthly salary enough to cover our student loans ... with $30 left over! God didn't just hear my prayers. He responded to my prayers. And He was generous. Gracious. Extravagant. Praise God!
Next year, I am going to stay home to raise my son and God will provide!
"You could quit your job and stay home to raise Asher."
It wasn't an order or threat. It was a suggestion, a impossible hint. And I refused to believe it.
Even thinking about staying home seemed foolish. After all, we live on a shoestring as it is; we are up to our ears in student loans. How could we possibly make ends meet on one salary? To be honest, I was mad at God for even hinting at the idea. He knew how much I desired to stay home. He also knew how financially unrealistic, how completely impossible it would be for me to quit my job. Why would He tempt me with something we both knew could never happen?
But the voice didn't go away.
"You could quit your job and stay home to raise Asher."
After a while, I couldn't ignore Him any more. So I prayed. A lot. I talked to God about my desires. I asked Him to give me wisdom. I even told Him that if I didn't have student loans, nothing would stand in the way of me staying home. And you know what? God heard my prayers. He showed up. He filled my life with people who (both knowingly and unknowingly) reaffirmed His message for me. He reminded me of His plan for my life almost every single time I opened the Bible. And He gave me an overwhelming sense of peace - a peace that passes understanding.
So last week, I took a leap of faith. I told my boss and my teammates that I won't be coming back next year. Even though there are several weeks until I am officially done, just telling my boss that I won't be teaching next year made the whole thing seem very real. And exciting. And a little scary. I knew in my heart that I was being obedient to God, but one thing was still unclear in my mind. One very important thing. How in the world was God going to make this work?!
And then yesterday happened.
Yesterday, Will was called into his boss's office for an impromptu meeting ... where his boss gave him a raise. A RAISE ... four days after we announced our plans to follow God without knowing how He was going to provide! Do you want to know the truly incredible part? The part that gives me goosebumps? The part that leaves me laughing at how good and generous and loving our God is? The raise boosted Will's monthly salary enough to cover our student loans ... with $30 left over! God didn't just hear my prayers. He responded to my prayers. And He was generous. Gracious. Extravagant. Praise God!
Next year, I am going to stay home to raise my son and God will provide!
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